| youth |
[26//Jan//2009//10:39pm] |
went to school with micah and judy. got kicked out by teachers for lack of curriculum. ate lunch at rifca's. went to lewis's. invited ourselves into his house. played smash bros 64 for half an hour. went to empress walk with erik, micah, judy, lewis. sat in a nerd store while lewis, erik, and micah talked to a ~400lb young man about buying magic cards. left nerd store. went to wendys. split fries and a drink with judy. dropped erik off at his house. went to red maple. left red maple. dropped micah and judy back home. went back to lewis's. played smash bros more. went back to empress walk. got bubble tea with lewis. went back to nerd store. watched lewis spend $110 on magic cards. left empress walk. had a discussion with lewis about our futures on the drive home. got dropped off at home. ate half of a dinner with family (i wasn't hungry). had long chat with family about stuff. let sister beat me up. went downstairs. watched a few episodes of welcome to the n.h.k.. talked to several people about various things. wallowed in numbness.
i favourited this video on youtube long ago.
SUP DAWG I HEARD U LIKE CARS SO WE PUT A CAR IN YO CAR SO U CAN DRIVE WHILE U DRIVE
SUPPPPPDWAGI HERDA LUEKI RASC SO WE PUTTTTTTTTTTT%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% A CA%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%R%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%INYOC%R%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%A%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%SODRIVEUCANDRIVEWHILE%%%%% %%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%% %%%%% %%% %% % % % % %
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| noisenoisenoisenoisenoisenoisenoisenoisenoisenoisenoise |
[26//Jan//2009//01:17am] |
so my exams are over and with that, my semester. what a failure of a semester this was... i doubt i'll even manage a 70 in either biology or chemistry. my next semester has to be different... i need an average of over 90 if i wish to continue with my life. calculus is my largest priority. no other course has priority over that course for me. if i don't manage at least a 90 in calc... i don't know what i'll do. i didn't take advanced functions seriously and as a result of that, nobody takes my intelligence and mathematical competence seriously. i should know how good at math i am, that's what i'm supposed to be "gifted" for. though when i was younger i thought gifted programs were a sham, i regret not entering the one i was supposed to be in...
anyways, i get 1 week to prepare for semester two. everyone i know is making a big deal out of me turning 18 this week but i really don't feel anything big about it... thursday will just be a regular day for me on the inside. what depresses me is that though i've felt that way i will feel on thursday for a good half of a year now, my family will only recognize my maturity as legitimate at that point. like a number suddenly brings sincerity to my state of being.
apart from that, i've been getting more and more into manga and anime lately. i became obsessed with death note, and am almost done the manga (part II is kind of boring... even with near and mello, light is so boring now. all he does is sit in a hotel room and play doctor with matsuda). i read the entire welcome to the n.h.k. manga yesterday (it's kind of short), and i started watching the anime today. the anime and manga differ pretty greatly in terms of subject matter; the manga is far more sexualized. though i'm only on episode 12, i doubt there will be a scene in the anime where sato-kun's mother walks in on him masturbating to lolicon.
i think i'll start posting here every day, from now on. it's a good way to unload my thoughts. i i think i had more planned to say before i started this entry but i must have forgotten it. man i want to play smash bros with somebody .___. level 9 cpu opponents can only entertain for so long... i wish i had somebody. |
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| taken |
[03//Jan//2009//04:08am] |
| [ | location |
| | basement | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | mirror's edge theme song | ] |
dont be sad, girl
What if someone told you they wanted to be with you forever?
what if... that's an interesting way to phrase it. if someone did? and if they were serious? i'd probably want to be with them forever back.
Have you ever walked in on people having sex?
no
Do you miss anyone?
very much so
Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night?
LOL NO
What are your plans for the weekend?
ill figure it out as it goes along
Have you ever gotten alcohol poisoning?
no
Are you close with your mother?
mhmm
Have you ever talked back to a teacher?
yes
What did you last cry over?
i don't remember
Have you ever been suspended?
nope
Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
ya
Are you in a good mood today?
ya
Are you scared of spiders?
no
Last comment you left someone?
dunnoooooo
Are you excited for anything?
i suppose
Have you ever slapped someone across their face?
yes
Will you be married in the next two years?
that would be good... since i'd only marry someone i was in love with
How was your weekend?
it's... not the weekend yet.
Have you ever wanted someone you couldn't have?
obviously
What are your plans for today?
sit at home and hopefully call up some friends to get something going
Last thing you ate?
veggie chips
How do you look right now?
decent
Something you aren't looking forward to?
the eventuation of error
What do you do on the weekends?
chill
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
janek
Have you held hands with anybody in the past week?
yes
Do you like to cuddle?
sooooooo much
What color shirt are you wearing?
purple
Ever go camping?
no
Are you someone's best friend?
yes
Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
incompetence
When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
tonight
Where were you an hour ago?
in this same chair
Do you have any piercings?
yes
Do you fall for people easily?
i definitely do
When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
not too long ago
Could you go a day with out eating?
definitely
Do your parents force you to go to church?
no
Has anyone besides family ever told you they love you?
yes
If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?
in bed
What is your mood right now?
dunno
What's going on between you and the last person you kissed?
a parent-son relationship?
Who's car were you in last?
parent's car
Have you thought about an ex today?
none to think about
It's 4 in the morning, your phone rings, who is it?
ITS MY BFF MARCIN TELLING ME HES BACK FROM POLAND FINALLY
Where is the person who has your heart at the moment?
sleeping in their bed
Do you think a lot of people think bad things about you?
i'm a bit untrusting...
Are you waiting for something?
ye
Have you ever been awake for more then 2 nights straight?
2 nights hmm... i could pull it off but no, not yet
Is there someone you will never forget?
yes
Would you date someone who lived in another state?
yeah
When's the last time you said you were fine, but really weren't?
today
Have you ever dated someone more than once?
never dated
Could you handle a long distance relationship?
yeah
Have you ever been called heartless?
no
What's your relationship status?
limbo-ish
Looking back, did you ever think you'd be where you're at in life now?
yes
Do you hold grudges?
no
Have you ever loved someone who didn't love you back?
yes
Have you ever been punched?
yes
Is there somebody in your life that you could not survive without?
yes
Is there someone you know you should hate, but you cant?
yes
Do you have a friend you can tell stuff to and you're sure they won't tell?
yes
Ever receive a really long apology?
yes
Does the last person you held hands with mean a lot?
yes they do
What were you doing at 7:45AM this morning?
sleep!
What will you be doing tomorrow?
i don't really know
What is the best ice cream flavor?
ice cream!
Have you bought any drugs this month?
not this month
When was the last time you ran?
today
Who was the last person you rode in the car with that was under 21?
uh... probably sister
Do you have a tan?
not really
Who did you last hang out with?
rebecca, mike b, akia (and michelle temporarily)
What did you guys do?
went to eatons centre and other parts of toronto today.
i just realized that my family friends came over and i chilled with them. so ya thats what the last thing was.
Do you drink your soda with a straw?
when the situation calls for it
Day been rough?
no not really
Do you use chapstick?
haven't in a while
Are you jealous of anyone right now?
yes
Do you love anyone?
most definitely
What is the last movie you watched?
it was either... horton hears a who, or a cross the universe (justice documentary)
Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
no
How many best friends do you have?
a bunch
What were you doing at 10:30 last night?
chilling
Where is your mom right now?
in her bed asleep
Are you slowly drifting away from someone?
probably
Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
PERSONALLY, I PREFER THE AIR
Are you happy with life?
kind of
Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
yeah
Do you have a desk in your room?
yeah
What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
sitting in this chair.
Last restaurant you went to?
...mcdonalds XD depressingly.
How's your heart lately?
it's the same as always
Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
yeah
Are you happier single or in a relationship?
i haven't ever been in a relationship so i wouldn't know
Are you a heavy sleeper?
kind of? normal sleeper.
Has anyone told you lately that they would always be there for you?
parent
When you think about your first kiss, what does it remind you of?
never happened
Do you think the last person you kissed is nice?
never happened
What was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
i chilled
First time you kissed the last person you kissed?
never happened
Is this year the best year of your life?
2009 is one of the best years of my life.
What were you doing at 8 this morning?
sleeping
In the past week have you gotten sick?
no not really
How many clothes do you have in your closet?
a bunch
Would you rather your partner have gorgeous eyes or a gorgeous smile?
eyes
Do you like your first name?
ya
Do you regret doing something today?
ya
Last bed you slept in?
mine
Can a boy and girl be friends without having feelings for each other?
mhmm
Where'd you get the shirt you're wearing?
winners
Sunrise or Sunset?
moonrise
What movie is in your DVD player?
movie!
Are you cocky?
i love cocky
Do you make your bed daily?
no ;_;
Your favorite tv show?
cowboy bebop
Where are your parents from?
toronto
Are you afraid of the dark?
no
Can you skateboard?
yes
How about play an instrument?
yes
How much money do you have on you right now?
$19
Was there anyone that you were matching with today?
clothes wise? no.
Is there someone you can't stop thinking about?
yes
Do you dance in the car?
how can you do that
How did you get your last bruise?
punched a brick wall
Who is in your house right now?
my family~
What's your favorite season?
SEASON! THE HOT RUSH OF YOUTH! A HUGE CLASH
Has it snowed recently?
ya
Favorite colors?
blue
Do you want to have children?
yeah
Do you have any siblings?
a sister
Has anyone ever sang to you?
yes
Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
nope
Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life?
everyone makes a difference
Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
michelle
Are you waiting for anyone's call right now?
no
Are you shy?
a bit
The person you're in love with moves across the world, what do you do?
probably go with them
Would you ever kiss a 15 year old?
yes i suppose, i'm not that much older than that anyway
How do you feel about public displays of affection?
i don't have a problem
Did you get any compliments today?
yes
How fast can you type?
rly fast
How late did you stay up last night?
5:somethingam
Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a B?
no
Are you happy with your life at the the moment?
kind of
Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?
yes
Have you ever gotten a sunburn so bad it hurt to move?
ye
Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
ye
Where was your default pic taken?
it wasnt
Have you ever been in trouble with the cops?
nope
Something you do a lot?
tami knows X)
Do you act differently around the person you like?
a bit
What is your natural hair color?
red
Do you say Burger King or BK Lounge?
what's BK lounge?
Have you ever thrown yourself on your bed...and missed?
no but that sounds pretty funny
What do you usually say, if anything, when someone sneezes?
bless you
Can you eat with dirty socks in front of you?
i guess?
Do you ever have a constant reel of thoughts that keeps you from falling sleep?
i suppose
When you like somebody, is it impossible for you to get them out of your head completely?
yes
Have you been in a hotel suite before?
yes
Have you ever said, "Suffering succotash!"?
yes
How do you react when you see a guy cry?
i rush to their aid
Are you one of those people that reads the last page of a book first?
no
Does television just reflect our society or does our television create our society?
the former
Have you fallen out of your seat in the middle of class?
LOL YA
Way back when, what did you usually do during recess?
i.... chilled. i gotta stop using that word.
Do you have a difficult time figuring out what you want?
yes
Does the sight of a hobo ever make you teary?
no
Do you usually "crush" on people that are like you or the complete opposite?
i dont see it in terms like that
Did your imaginary friend disappear because somebody sat on them?
never had one
Have you ever wanted to be a parent just so you could give your kids what you never had?
yes
If you had to create a new day in the week, where would you put it?
above
Have you ever waddled like a penguin?
yes
Have you ever actually used the white crayon?
THERES A WHITE CRAYON? THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING
i hope you feel better. you'll get through it i know you will |
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